Monday, February 22, 2010

Counting Sheep

Hey there everyone! Sorry I didn't write yesterday but I really didn't do a darn thing on Sunday so I didn't really want to bore you with my do-nothings. It was such a nice day to do just that was rainy, chilly and just blah. That's how I felt too. I hit an emotional bump late Saturday night and it continued into Sunday, but that happens and I think if I wasn't emotional during any of this, something would be wrong. Hey, I think tears are good and it did make me feel better to cry and cry and cry.

Why am I sad? Well, there are a millions reasons why, but mostly because I'm just scared. It's scary to not know what's around the corner, what side effect could pop up, how will I respond to the next treatment, etc. etc. etc. I have always hated the UNKNOWN. It's hard too when I can't sleep and I just lay there in complete silence listening to my dogs snore...then my mind starts to wander and it ponders this and that. Hard to shut it off sometimes. So, enough with that...I got my crying out for a few days.

Now, today was a much better day! Although it was raining AGAIN, I had some good energy and I was excited to get out of the house. I had to go into Loco and finish up what I didn't last week....I just didn't have enough energy to get it all done on Friday. We are closed right now for a mini-remodel so it was the perfect time to be in there and get stuff done and not be distracted. I finished EVERYTHING I had to do and I feel so much better. I spent almost 3 hours there. I left because I was starved and it was almost my nap time. Ha.

I have been feeling pretty good. My energy definitely wears thin and I get tired after doing the silliest things (like showering and getting ready for the day!). I think I mentioned before that I started to developed this weird mouth thing. Well, it's still there and I called Ironwood today and left a message for the chemo nurses. In fact, I think it was worse today than it has been since it started on Friday afternoon. It's really hard to explain, but it's like the nerves in my mouth go berserk when something enters my pain protruding thru my jaw and into my face. It's SO WEIRD. I can eat, it doesn't hurt after I get the initial few chomps out of the way but man do I have to prepare myself for the first bite!! Ha. They promptly returned my phone call and she prescribed me some mouthwash. Ok, fine. I'll try it. She called it in to my pharmacy and I was to pick it up later.

Well, this is called "magic mouthwash!" The damn bottle better be magic, it cost $57 with my insurance!! YIKES! It resembles pepto in color but doesn't taste bad at all. It does have lidocaine in it. So, I have to swoosh around a teaspoon every 4 hours. I have done 2 swooshes now and I have to say, I think it's helping. I did a swoosh before dinner and then I ate...well, eating still hurt like b*&^% but it wasn't nearly as bad as previous times. So, I'm hoping this magic mouthwash is doing it's trick. This whole side effect is bizarre and even the nurse didn't really sound like she knew what it was. Oh, how rare I am...

I hope to get out of the house again tomorrow and maybe see a movie...I have dinner with the Loco girls on Wednesday night, getting my hair chopped on Thursday and then Friday is surgery day. So, it'll be a busy week...let's hope my strength holds up! I know it's getting better every day!

On a good note, I'm done with that darn Prednisone until March 10th so I hope I won't be counting sheep tonight or for the next two weeks...

Tomorrow is a new day...

Love you all--E


  1. Oh! I forgot! Beyond post cancer ass-kicking booze, I'm always down for useless texting at 2 a.m.! Nobody ever talks about the benefits of chronic insomnia. :) Txt anytime! Hugs to you!

  2. what surgery is scheduled for Friday?

  3. I'm having my port put arms can't take anymore treatment so I have to get a port put in my chest so that's where all the IV's will go thru. :) Fun, fun. Pretty normal for chemo peeps.