Thursday, March 18, 2010

My Feet Are Mad At Me...

I forgot what it was like to work a 12 hour shift of madness! My feet are rebelling today (and I put another 7 hours on 'em)! I even wore my Crocs yesterday which are like slippers to me, but man did they hurt today!! I was ever so happy to get home and put my feet up. In fact I think I will be jumping in my hot tub tonight..ahhh, that'll make them like me again! :)

I survived another day at work. Actually I feel great (well besides my legs/feet hating me for all the walking I did yesterday at work), and it's just been 6 weeks today since I first heard that damn C word. I still can't believe this is all happening. I was telling 2 customers today at work how I still don't feel like it's real. I wonder if I ever will? I first thought it would be when I got my first chemo treatment and it didn't sink in then, then I thought when I lost my hair...well the hair is gone and it still hasn't sunk in. So, I pretty much gave up on when will it sink in. If it does, it does. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I have more things to concentrate on than worrying about that!

I hate that cancer has a dead giveaway. If I still had my hair nobody would have the slightest clue that I have cancer. It's really interesting though how people approach me. Everyone at work knows. Most of the Loco lifers (regulars) know as well, but I just don't go out and say, "oh, I'm doing ok, well, besides the cancer." I think they know, but the way they approach me is like they are scared to say it. So it's really awkward.

It's also really interesting dealing with the really inquisitive people. The strangers. Last night a guy just came straight out and asked me (he was about 4 margaritas deep though). Then, today another guy asked me, "so are you going to win?" I was like, "win what?" Lol. I had no idea what he was talking about!! (See why work is such a great distraction? I forget I have cancer for the moment). I was like, "oh ya, of course. I can't stand losing!" So we got to talking. I wish I was super witty at that moment and said, "no I just shaved my head because I feel like it!". Ha.

I have an older couple that comes in all the time and orders the same thing every time. 2 beers and chicken enchiladas. I hadn't seen them in awhile and of course, they would have never suspected me to be a cancer patient, so she said, "what happened to your hair?" That was a bit awkward because when I told her she felt soooo bad. Such a sweet lady.

So, I guess I feel like a pink elephant in the room. Not like I care, it doesn't bother me because like I said, working is a great distraction. I feel great, I act the same, but the only difference is I don't have hair...dead giveaway!

Speaking of having no hair, my head is as smooth as a baby's butt...actually probably smoother. I finally took my razor to it...I couldn't stand the spotted disaster of it anymore and it was just so painful! I should have taken it to the blade earlier because I feel SO much better. It doesn't hurt to sleep and I'm not shedding little hairs all over the place. Thank goodness. So all of you baldies out there, I won't have to shave my head again...it's permanently like this (well, at least for the next few months!). The other great thing is I pretty much don't have to shave any other part of my body that you would normally shave either...it's great. The only hair left on my body is my arm hair, eyebrows and eyelashes and I would like to keep all of those hairs please. Thank you. Please don't be jealous anyone that I can now retire the razor!!!

2 more shifts to get thru this week, but I'm ready. I would rather be at work than sitting here watching TV. It's too dang nice out...it's been in the 80's here this week. This is why I love AZ. If anyone wants to come visit me, come quick! It'll be 100 soon...geez, I hope not.

Ok, enough rambling. I'm going to suit up for the tub and hopefully my feet will like me again. I need them tomorrow.

Till the next time.

Love, Erin :)

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