Hello there and happy June. It really is my favorite month of the year and I know this year it is going to be awesome. Usually it's just one big event of the month, my birthday (duh) but this year there are 2. My last chemo treatment and my birthday.
It's fitting that I write this right now because I just had a mini-breakdown. Today was supposed to be my last treatment. I so wanted all of this to be over before my birthday so that on my birthday I could get the best birthday present ever, but that's not the case. My best birthday present will be belated, but if you all know me, it's perfectly fine to make my birthday last longer.
I really can't believe all that has happened in almost 4 months. Friday will be the 4 month marker. 4 months of officially living with cancer. 4 months of not drinking. 4 months of Hell. I'll save the best for last, 4 months of kicking cancer's ass. It seems surreal. It seems like a blur. It seems like just yesterday that Dr. Schuster called me and broke the news, but yet it feels like I've been dealing with this forever. I can't believe what my body has been through. I honestly can't believe how well I have handled this either. I am one tough cookie.
I do think though as it gets closer to the end it does get harder. Why? I have no idea. I finally can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I can't wait till it gets here. Maybe because it's so close the last few days are the toughest? I don't know. I think it's also harder because I reflect on everything that has happened over the last 4 months and it's still so shocking. I just want it over so bad.
I went back to work today. I still don't feel 100% but I couldn't sit here another day and think about things and think about how I wished I felt better. Thank goodness I only have to do this ONE MORE TIME. In 14 more days those chemicals, Prednisone, Cytoxin, Adramycin and Vincristine will enter my body for the LAST time. Thankfully they have done their job though and I really shouldn't be mad at them.
We here in AZ lost a great man today to bladder cancer at the young age of 55. RIP Bill Austin from the "Beth and Bill Show." Stupid cancer.
So that my friends is the update. I hope you all had a safe and fun Memorial Day weekend. It's going to be 110 this weekend here, no joke. I think I may have to take a dip in my pool for the first time. I wonder what it will feel like to swim with no hair? I'll let you know when I find out...
Till the next time.
Love you all--E