Hello all! Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Or is it bad news? I don't know. My mind is all jumbled right now, my emotions are all over the place. I really have no idea how I'm feeling! Ha.
I was a nervous wreck this morning. We went to Cindy's Cafe (like we do every time before my appointments) and had breakfast. Then, it was off to Ironwood. Man, that place was BUSY. So very sad. The busiest I've ever seen it. There was a line to check in! Luckily I got called back really fast so I was happy. I didn't wait too much longer until Dr. Nabong came in. No hello, no how are you, just straight to business. I could tell right away it wasn't good news. Well, it was good news. There is no sign of the disease. The bad news is the lymph nodes are still active. Pretty much they are like ticking time bombs. They could act up at anytime. He wants to do the transplant. He said he had spoken to Dr. Schriber before he left for out of town and he has been waiting for me to come in. So, Dr. Nabong made a phone call, came back and said I would be hearing from their offices soon. Well, it hadn't been 1/2 hour and I already got the call. I will be going in to meet Dr. Schriber Tuesday at 2:15pm. I will find out more information then.
I knew going into today that I would find out one thing. That thing being if the cancer was gone or not. The cancer is gone. I am cancer free...but it sounds like who knows for how long. That was why Dr. Nabong was so concerned. Mom, Dad and I feel the same way too. It could come back at anytime given the nature of my cancer. Everything is happening fast, again. Sounds like I could begin this whole transplant process next week.
I have been crying. I heard good news, but honestly it's really hard to be happy about something so great when you have this huge hurdle to cross coming up. I don't think I know what I'm really in for, nor do you guys. I will spare you the details until I find out more, but I do know that I will be admitted to the hospital for at least 3 weeks. 3 weeks without my dogs. 3 weeks without a lot of things. Ugh. I have never even spent a night in the hospital (ok maybe when I was born), let alone at least 3 weeks. YIKES. At least I know that you all will never leave my side!! :) The whole things scares the crap out of me, but if this is what it takes to rid my body of this terrible disease once and for all, I'm down.
So it's mixed news. I had a feeling there would be a but...I was right again. This whole process has shown that my gut and feelings don't lie. I have been right throughout this whole thing, especially when it deals with my own body/health.
We're not done yet peeps! Oh, I left out a big thing. I asked Dr. Nabong at the end if I could have a beer, he said, "yes." I said, "really?!" He said, "just 1." I said, "just one!?" He said, "Ok 2." So, 2 it is. They tasted delicious!!! Weird for the first sip, but then it was just like I had remembered it. Now, I'm ready for a nap.
It's taken 162 days to beat this crap, but we're on to Step 2! I know I can do it.
Lots to process peeps...thank you for your thoughts and prayers, but I'll be asking for more! Love you all!
Love, Cancer Free EB