Thursday, August 16, 2012

Twas the night before...a CT scan...

6 months have come and gone.   My blood has been sucked out of me once more.  It's time for another scan in the morning.  Time sure flies doesn't it?  I feel like I was just at Ironwood, getting an IV and prepped for my scan.  Now it's time to do it all over again bright and early in the morning.  Scan is at 8am, I'll be there at 7am.  I get the results Tuesday and hopefully breathe a sigh of relief when I see Dr. Nabong's big smile.

I have to admit the night before a scan makes me nervous.  I'm emotional.  It brings back A LOT of memories.  I have happy emotions and scared emotions.  Cancer really has no rules so it's honestly my biggest fear that it will come back.  It's always going to be a monkey on my back.  This scan is kinda big for me, because statistics show with the type of cancer I had that if it were to come back it would come back within the first 2 years of remission.  Well, I am a little over 2 years in remission so I hopefully and God willingly have beaten that statistic.  I guess I'll find out in 5 days.

I always think positive in everything I do.  I was always a positive person before, but after having to fight for my life I am even more positive.  I know in my heart that I will be fine, still cancer-free, still able to live my life, still able to grow my hair, and still be able to pursue my dreams.  There is always that but though and it's hard to not think about it when you've had it once.  Call me crazy, but it's true.  I think my Mom would even agree or anyone that has had cancer before.  It's a beast.

I just can't wait until Tuesday when I can be rest assured I really am fine!  In the clear!  Good for another 6 months or maybe even a year!  I will find out Tuesday.

So, please add me to your prayer list tonight.  Think positive for a clear scan!!

Thanks so much and I'll update you all on Tuesday!

Love, Erin

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