Monday, July 29, 2013

What's In Season?

I have seen this a lot lately so I thought I'd put it up here for you all and for me to refer back too!  I also pinned it on Pinterest.  Funny thing is, is this true for ALL states?  I wonder if it's different here in AZ because of the heat.  I do know that since I have been eating clean it is hard to find really good produce here during the summer because it is so dang hot.  There aren't very many Farmer's Markets to attend and a lot of my favorite veggies you simply can't find.  Usually during the summer to ensure I get good veggies I buy frozen.  Did you know that you should buy in this order?  Fresh, frozen, canned?  So, even though it's frozen and uses some of it's nutrients, it's still a better option than canned.  Occasionally I will buy an organic basket from Bountiful Baskets.  The last basket I got didn't disappoint, but I wished there were more veggies than fruit even though it's supposed to be a 50/50 ratio.  Oh well, I guess it's the price I pay for living in the desert.  I secretly am jealous of all of you that live in produce-friendly-in-the-summer-states!   Here is the chart!

Thank you HellaWella for this!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Be Fearless Again...

A friend of mine shared this with me on Facebook and I just had to post it here.  I can legitimately say this is the truth and exactly what happened because I have been there and made it to the other side.  The author of this is unknown, but I give credit to Beautiful and Bald Barbie on Facebook for posting it.  Thanks again Karin for sharing this with me!  I hope you all enjoy the read because it's so true!!

"Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was Diagnosed With Cancer…

Your relationships are about to change. All of them. Some will get stronger. They will probably not be with the people you would expect. The people you want to handle this well might not be able to for a variety of reasons. Some of the reasons will be selfish. Some of them will be entirely innocent and circumstantial. All of them will be forgivable because no one plans for cancer. Carrying bitterness or anger won't help your recovery. Fighting for anyone to stick with you won't cure you. Those who can, will.

You will be determined to have more energy than you do. You will convince yourself that you are thinking straight, are able to handle all of this and do not need anyone. You will run out of fuel. Your body will change first and your mind will follow. You won't lose your mind, memories or sensibility. It will all come back. But, you will be different. You will never have the same sense of self. You should embrace this. Your old self was probably really great. Your transformed self will be even better. Give in to what is happening and trust it.

You are going to feel fear. Even if you are normally stubborn, confident and seemingly invincible you will finally find yourself admitting that you are scared of something. Cancer is scary and incredibly confusing. The unknowing will eat at you worse than the disease itself. You'll need distractions. Music and sleep will probably be the ones you resort to most. Reading will become difficult. So will watching TV or movies, having conversations, writing and basically everything else. They call it "chemo brain" for a reason. You will feel normal eventually. Just a new kind of normal. When you feel afraid let yourself lean on those around you. Cry. Be vulnerable. You are vulnerable. There will be time for strength, but never admitting weakness will cause anxiety to mount and your condition to worsen. Let it all out. Yell if you need to. Sing when you feel up to it. Sob uncontrollably. Apologize for your mood swings. Treatments and prescriptions will often be the cause of them. The people that love you will understand.

The people that love you will be just as scared as you are. Probably more. They will be worrying even when they are smiling. They will assume you are in more pain than you are. They will be thinking about you dying and preparing for life without you. They will go through a process that you will never understand just like they will never understand the process you are going through. Let them process. Forgive them when they don't understand. Exercise patience when you can. Know that those that were built for this will be there when you get to the other side and you will all be able to laugh together again. You'll cry together too. Then you'll get to a place where you will just live in the world again together and that is when you know that you have beaten this.

The sooner you recognize that you are mortal, the sooner you can create the mentality for survival. There is a chance you might not make it. Just like there is a chance that you will. Don't look at statistics. You are unique and what is happening inside you is unique. Your fight is yours alone and there are too many factors to compare yourself to others that have had your condition. No one will want you to think about death, but you won't have a choice. You will think about it from the moment you are given your diagnosis. Come to terms with it. Calmly accept it. Then, shift every thought you have into believing that you won't die. You are going to beat this. Your mental focus on that fact will be more powerful than any treatment you receive.

Your doctors and nurses will become your source of comfort. You will feel safe with them. If you do not feel safe with them you need to change your care provider immediately. There is no time to waste. This shouldn't be a game played on anyone's terms but yours. When you find the right caretakers you will know immediately. Do not let insurance, money or red tape prevent you from getting the treatment you deserve. This is your only shot. There is always a way. Find those hands that you trust your life in and willingly give it to them. They will quickly bring you a sense of calm. They will spend time answering your questions. There will be no stupid questions to them. They won't do anything besides make you feel like you are the most important life that exists. They will never make you feel like they don't have things in control. They will be honest and accessible at all times. They might even become your friends. They deserve your gratitude, respect and appreciation daily. If you get upset at them during treatment know that they'll forgive you. They get that you're going through something they can't imagine - but they understand better than anyone. They see it every day and they choose to be there because they want to make the worst experience of your life more tolerable.

You will need to find balance after treatment. Start by seeking balance during treatment. Eat well. Sleep well. Listen to your body. Experiment with new forms of exercise that aren't so demanding. Do not be too proud to speak to someone. You cannot afford to store up the intensity of the emotion that comes with fighting a life-threatening illness. Let it out for yourself. You will begin to hear your voice changing. That voice is who you are becoming in the face of mortality. Listen to that voice. It will be the purest, most authentic version of you that you have ever known. Bring that person into the world -- strengths and vulnerabilities and everything between. Be that person forever.

You will inspire others. It will feel weird. People you haven't spoken to since grade school will be in touch. Ex-boyfriends, former colleagues... even people you felt never wanted to talk to you again. The influx of interest in your seemingly fading life will be greater than any living moment you have ever experienced. That support is what will shift a fading life into a surviving one. Be grateful for every message. Be appreciative of each gift and each visit. There will be moments where all of this attention will make you feel lonelier than you have ever felt in your life. In a hospital room full of people with messages stuffing your inbox, voicemail and mailbox you will find yourself feeling completely alone. This is when you will realize that you could afford to have a stronger relationship with yourself. That only you walk this earth with 100% investment in you. Make the investment and use this as an opportunity to reexamine your self-worth. Love yourself more than ever and recognize how much love there is for you in the world. Then start sharing that love. You will come to see that even when you are the neediest person you know you can still be giving. Giving will make you feel better than taking.

When you get to the other side you won't believe it. They will tell you the disease is gone. Everyone you know will rejoice and return to their lives. You'll constantly wonder if it is coming back. Slowly this feeling will fade, but cancer will always be a part of you. It will define how you see the world moving forward. You're going to feel like the future is a funny thing to think about because the present is going to suddenly seem incredibly important. Keep moving. You'll be more productive. You'll understand who truly loves you because they will still be there. You'll want to meet new people that connect to the newly evolved version of your old self. You'll want to let go of those that don't "get" who you are now. You'll feel a little guilty doing it. Then, you'll move on. You don't have time to waste. The greatest gift you've been given is that you now understand that and you're going to make the most of every second. You're going to be the most passionate person you know going forward. Translate that passion to a greater purpose. Be fearless again."

Saturday, July 20, 2013

New Beginnings...

Hello all--it's been awhile since I have posted and I apologize.  I keep telling myself I will get better at posting in here and I just need to make it a weekly thing.  I think the more I do it, the more it will fit into my routine, just like emailing daily, checking Facebook and other social media sites!  Plus, Vinny, a regular at Loco, made me these nifty cards to give to my regulars at Loco to keep in touch with me after I leave.  I love them!  So, I figured I better start posting more because I think I'll have some new followers...

Since my last post (turning 35) I have still been busy as a bee.  My Mom put the grand idea in my head to re-arrange my entire house.  Well, everything but my bedroom (which is still a possibility) and Corey's room.  We spent 2 weekends doing the new changes.  I absolutely LOVE my NEW look.  My living room is so much bigger and roomier.  I have a real big dining room table and I downsized an entire room (my office) into just a small hutch.  I also welcomed a NEW roommate!  My bestie friend Molly moved in 2 weekends ago, which is reason why I had to get rid of my office and make it live-able!  All of these new changes were really cleansing too because I was able to get rid of a lot of junk. I am actually still going through things and finding stuff I can donate.  It's been fun!

I also am back on the market, as far as my relationships with men are concerned.  I'm still having a hard time with it, but I know with time I will be OK.  Tim and I will remain friends so that's good.  I mean we did start off as friends for 3 years before we started dating.  We both live very busy lives and it makes it difficult to have a healthy relationship!  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  I may not know why Tim and I are no longer together now, but I do know down the road it will all make sense.  For now, it stings, but I am strong and can get through this!!!

I also starting seeing my cousin Mistie for some sessions at Infinite TX.  I went there to learn how to use my new foam roller I got for my birthday and left there discovering new things about myself that I am now currently working on.  Long story short, I am still dealing with some trauma in my life that I have yet to release (pretty sure it's due to having cancer).  So, what I am doing with her are Somatic Experience sessions.  The whole thing is super intriguing and I know once I am "healed" I will be like least I know my nervous system will be!  Ha!

The best news is I hit the 3 years in remission mark on July 15th!  WOO HOO!  I honestly can't believe it's been 3 whole years.  Time sure does fly!  I will get scanned here in August and hopefully be A-OK for another year.  I will keep you updated on my appointments!  But in the meantime, celebrate life, because it really is precious!

So, those are a few of my NEW beginnings.  I have a huge NEW beginning coming up here in 65 days  (med school) and my last day at Loco is in 34 days as well!  Yikes!  My life is about to change...but it's all for the best and I can't wait to start more new beginnings...

Till the next post (which will be soon!)