Thursday, August 22, 2013

A Bump In The Road?

Hello all!  Lots to update you on!  First, tomorrow is my LAST day at Loco.  I seriously don't think it has set in yet and I doubt it will for quite some time.  I have been there almost 9 years.  Tomorrow will be the last day I clock in and out.  It definitely has been a roller coaster of a more ways than one.

It was also scan week.  I am always nervous before a scan.  A million things run through my head.  It had been a year since my last one (the longest I have gone without getting scanned) so who knows what is going on inside my body.  What I do know is that I feel great.  I really had no reason to be concerned, but until you have walked in my shoes and know how I still is worrisome.  It stinks. It brings back all the memories of 3 years ago.  It's like re-living a nightmare all over again.  It becomes real again.  It sucks.  I did have a breakdown Monday night and although some may not understand why I shed some tears, I honestly don't really care what they thought.  They haven't gone through what I have.  They don't know how it feels to be in my shoes.  It felt good and I released emotions.

Scan day has come and gone (Tuesday) and this morning was my Doc appointment.  As I pulled into Ironwood I felt good.  I had a smile on my face and kept thinking, "this is the last bit of good news I need to hear so I can start my new beginnings."  I was banking on hearing, "see you next year!  You are doing great!"  Although what I heard isn't exactly what I wanted to hear, I know my Doctor's are taking all necessary steps to keep me around and I couldn't agree more.  So, what did they tell me?  Scott told me that my scan, as far as lymph node activity, came back normal.  There were no signs of any enlarged lymph nodes so that is great news.  However, my colon appeared "thickened".  What the heck is a thickened colon?  Usually it is signs of colitis (inflammation of the colon) but I have no signs of colitis.  Why is my colon thickened?  If it was related to Lymphoma there would most likely be a mass instead of a whole part of it thickened.  My Doctor's really believe it is nothing, but are ordering me to have a colonoscopy to error on the side of caution.  If the type of NHL I had were to come back in my body, it typically re-appears as some type of other cancer.  Now, don't freak out!  I don't know anything yet.  Like I said, I have no symptoms of my colon being "sick" so I have no idea why it would even show up abnormal.  Hopefully my colonoscopy should be scheduled tomorrow.  Just what I needed...more to add to my plate!  My follow-up appointment is on Day 3 of med school too.  I pray my professors are understanding!  So, although it wasn't the news I was praying I would hear, it isn't terrible either.  I definitely have mixed emotions.  The only thing I know how to do is to remain positive, so that's what I will do in the meantime.

So that is the update for now.  Thank you to everyone who has made my last few days and weeks at Loco the best.  I truly will miss everyone there...and the food!  I will be back.  I will do a special post here this weekend with some pictures of my regulars...and to those I missed a photo op with, I apologize.

Take care everyone...

Love, Erin

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